Have you entered the Garden of Gethsemane, spent countless hours in the winepress, fearful for your sanity as the enemy assails your mind. Sought Him who knows all things for answers, groaned and cried out from the depths for comfort, for an understanding as to why there is no relief for your torment. You have stormed heaven, stood in the gap on behalf of others and still the battle rages. At last, weary from the onslaught, uttering the words " I am spent, I can do no more". At last the surrender comes. " Father, take this cup from me, nevertheless not my will but Thine be done" Now broken bread and poured out wine given to Him as an offering.
Oh dear saint, if your life were without tears, battles and failures, you would never need to lean on Him. Be thankful, for these situations are the very things that will be your training for higher levels of anointing. You will come forth as gold for He knows the way you will take. He is the maker of fine jewels. Only gold and precious stones can be used in a crown for a most glorious King. Only gold, pearls and precious stones will be used to build a new heaven and a new earth. The Pearl of great price was Gods first workmanship. He uses broken things.
Many, when seeking the glory will endeavour by various means and ways, by many teachings and doctrines, by eating from the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil, ( the wisdom of man), even by sheer reasoning to attain to a high degree of spirituallity. This path to glory is strewn with thistles and thorns and the human heart made available to correction by the indwelling of the very Spirit of God has no comprehension of the fact that it no longer belongs to itself.
"Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit", says the Lord
The war begins between the person you once were and the one you are becoming. The old you, the one who helped you survive, the one who got you through the rough times will fight to stay alive, will fight to hold itself together. The old you knows your secrets, your history, your defence mechanisms. How you will defend yourself when your buttons get pushed and the enemy of your soul knows exactly where your weaknesses lie. The old you wants to stay in control, knows what works for you and is terrified by the thought of trying something new.
The new you, the spiritually conscious, spiritually grounded you, fumbles around trying to figure out what works now, not aware of the tendency to fall back on the power or the so called power of the old self life. You may believe strongly, want deeply to change and for your new found identity to emerge out of the cocoon of confinement you have existed in for so long. One step forward, two steps back or so it seems. The new you, the restored you, not quite sure if this new life will work, nagging and challenging as self doubt and lame excuses surface. The guilt of not praying, not reading the word, to meditate and to live fully in this new and exciting world begins to tarnish the experience and you start to wonder if it was all a fantasy, a figment of your imagination.
When the new you is backed up to the wall it will out of habit resought to the old ways of thinking and doing. To and fro, neither this or that. The spirit man has been resurrected from the dead and as he gains ascension it becomes obvious there is some housecleaning to be done. The Lord Jesus came to the temple to cleanse it on two occasions. You will receive two visitations whether you are aware of them or not. He first comes to take ownership and when the time is right He will come again to cast out the unclean things and fill with Himself. A vessel cannot be filled until it is empty. The work is not yours it is His by the power of His Spirit. The old dead branches shall be pruned and burnt in His fire of love, ready to make way for the fruits of righteousness. Discipline,vigilance and obedience will manifest in the new soul and you will say, "It is well, it is well with my soul"